Saturday, April 15, 2006
Now dont misunderstand me, im not advocating lying. Lying is immoral, wrong and just plain bad. Furthermore, lying is too easy, we're talking here about an art, an art akin to bull fighting. Like a guy trying to dodge, weave and dance his way out of a tight situation. Firstly, a classic response would be like, "Have u read the Da vinci code?", which you would promptly reply, "Not recently". However, this does not work for new books that are just published. On another occasion, a guy i met, came up with a perfect reply for pesky interrogators, when asked if he had read To kill a mocking bird, he replied, "Not in English." I was awestruck. In 3 absolutely truthful words, he managed to convey 2 distinct and misleading messages: 1) he read the book, 2) he was fluent in another language.
When asked to comment on a play, musical or film of which you are completely unaware of, try some of these all-purpose adjectives:
"I prefer his earlier works. They're more pristine" Or "I prefer his earlier works. Theyre more mature." Sometimes, you can start a conversation and add in any dubious facts and still appear smart if the listener does not have a clue about the subject u're rabbling on about . Try some of these:
1) Quantum physic...unless they're some professor
2) The dead sea scrolls...nobody really knows much about it
3) Linear algebra and matrices....hah!..make sure its not martyn nash or some whiz kid who ACTUALLY listens to him in the MM2 lec (i.e: catz)
Finally, at some point in any dinner conversation, someone is bound to turn to you and say, "what do u think?". You havent been paying as much attention to the conversation as you are to the roast duck and beef rendang. But you cant admit that. This is where you need to express an opinion that is relevant to any subject, such as "It all depends", "You cant generalize" or you could make use of random metaphors (e.g: "what do u think of mamma mia?"..."well, you know its like that kind of feeling when you take a slice of cake, and u know that cake its chocolate, but somehow it tasted like peach"). If all else fails, then take a bite of meat and chew it throughly. Then once its well chewed and tucked in a corner of your mouth, simulate choking to death. Hold your breath and and if possible turn blue. Frantically point at your throat and start rolling all over the floor. When you judge that the time is right, spit the bit of meat with a realistic sound and calmy say..."im all right"
Al pacino (middle) is one of the greats as he oozes confidence and style on the dinner table even though he knows next to nothing.
Alex
3:51 PM
